Ep 27 - Jenna Davey-Burns (& Baby Cora) – Co-Regulation, Listening, and Leading in Complex Times
This episode is a thoughtful, heart-led conversation with Jenna Davey-Burns, a community leader, foster carer, and former Mayor and Councillor, about co-regulation, foster care, youth justice, and active citizenship.
Drawing from her lived experience in foster care, local government, family violence prevention, and community advocacy, Jenna shares why behaviour is communication, why prevention matters more than punishment, and why listening deeply, especially when we disagree, is essential for healthier families and communities.
With Jenna’s baby Cora present throughout the recording, this episode holds real-life moments of care, regulation, and presence, alongside honest reflections on leadership, community division, parenting, and the power of staying engaged at a local level. This conversation is an invitation to slow down, listen more deeply, and remember that meaningful change often begins close to home.
Listen on
“One of the things that worries me at the moment is the loss of the capacity to have discourse with people we disagree with.”
Jenna Davey-Burns
Wisdom from Jenna Davey-Burns in Episode 27
“When kids are getting distressed or angry, that’s because they’re not able to regulate themselves yet, so what you do is you help that child regulate by regulating yourself.”
“Behaviour is communication.”
“When people are in that fight-flight mode, nothing gets through.”
“I try really hard to stay very open, because I think there’s always something you can learn.”
“One of the things that worries me at the moment is the loss of the capacity to have discourse with people we disagree with.”
“We don’t always have to agree on things, but we do need to be collaborative and work together.”
“Active citizenship is something I really want to actively promote, talk about, and encourage.”
“It doesn’t require an encyclopedic knowledge of politics, it just requires a quick Google search.”
“Prevention is always going to be the best way of addressing these issues.”
“Nothing good will come out of fourteen-year-olds going into prison.”
“We need consequences, but we need appropriate consequences.”
“The human spirit is very resilient, given the right settings.”
“If you can really listen to that little voice inside you and block out the noise, that can be very powerful.”
“Look for the gratitude.”
“The capacity to love is what makes us so unique as humans.”
Key Themes Explored
Co-Regulation Starts With Us
Jenna explains that co-regulation is a foundational practice in foster care and parenting, and one that applies equally to leadership and conflict. When adults regulate their own nervous systems first, slowing their breath and staying present, children and others are better able to calm, communicate, and reflect. This approach recognises that dysregulated behaviour is not defiance, but a signal that someone does not yet have the capacity to self-regulate. Regulation creates the conditions for understanding, repair, and meaningful conversation.
Prevention Over Punishment
Throughout the episode, Jenna advocates strongly for prevention and early intervention, particularly in foster care, family violence, and youth justice. Drawing on her experience across legal services, corrections, and community work, she explains why punitive responses, especially incarceration of young people, lead to poorer long-term outcomes for individuals and society. Jenna highlights the importance of addressing root causes, supporting families early, and investing in community-based, culturally informed responses that prevent harm before it escalates.
Active Citizenship and Local Engagement
Jenna emphasises that active citizenship begins locally and does not require expertise, only attention and participation. From voting in council elections to engaging with local representatives, petitions, and community campaigns, she encourages people to stay involved rather than turning away in overwhelm. Jenna shares that when people feel seen, heard, and included in decision-making, even when outcomes don’t go their way, trust and understanding grow. Listening, participation, and presence are core acts of leadership.